What Are Your Expectations When You Are Going To Events?

Many people in our workshops tell us that they don’t always feel comfortable when going to business events.

The main reason seems to be more about them than about the other participants.

These are some of the things they say to themselves:
– I’m probably not interesting enough.
– I’m not an expert so I don’t know enough to meaningfully contribute to a conversation.
– I don’t know any other people so other people will think I don’t belong here.
– I just graduated from college/university and don’t have enough experience yet so people won’t find me interesting to talk to.
– I’m not worthy of getting attention from other people.
– I’m an introvert so I lack social skills.

These are all judgments you have about yourself. 95% of the people you will meet, don’t think this way. The other 5% are probably not worth your time (and please don’t let them discourage you!)

The problem is that when you have these thoughts, the expectations you will have from attending an event will probably be low as well.

What the human mind does, is looking for confirmation of its thoughts.

So if your expectation is that nobody wants to talk to you (for whatever reason you have made up), you will look for the confirmation that they are not interested in you.

When someone looks briefly at you and then looks away, you might think they are not interested. The fact that they turn away makes you think they don’t want to talk to you.

However someone who expects that other people want to talk to him, will interpret this brief look as a sign of interest. He will notice the brief contact moment.

In other words: the way you expect things to happen will influence the results in a big way.

What do you expect when you go to events? That people will talk to you or not?

To your success !



11 Responses to What Are Your Expectations When You Are Going To Events?

  1. Totally agree.. if you go in feeling like you are enough, then there’s no problem connecting with other people. I think that’s the mindset that lets you do anything you want.

  2. Hi Melissa,

    glad you agree 🙂

    Looks like this blog post is in alignment with the topics you write about on your blog. Feel free to share more here as a comment.


  3. Jan,

    first time you go to an event it may seems like you are the only one at the party who didn’t get the right invitation……there is a lot you can do by yourself to prepare your participation, in order to ensure that your visit pays off for your company, which is mandatory:

    who are the exhibitors? who are the people from those companies with whom I want to speak? contact them ahead of the event and set up agreements or at least make sure they know who you are prior to your arrival

    who are the expected visitors? any of those important to you? try and set up appointments on beforehand

    what are the side-events in town? (dinner parties, receptions, site-visits etc) – get yourself on the invitation list

    prepare the right questions prior to going. what is your company looking for?

    in the city where the event takes place: are there prospects you can go and see, thereby combining two or several trips, making this trip more effecient

    make a proper follow-up: send a thank-you note, link-up, send follow-up briefing regarding your company and the products and services you are offering

    From your own book “How to REALLY use LinkedIIn” I came upon the book “Endless Referrals” which is a great tool for people who have a serious interest to learn how to “break the ice”.

    I also welcome anyone to visit my blog: http://blog.bestsellingme.com/
    where I will soon publish an article on “events”

    Take care


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